I called off work today because I developed a horrible migraine in my sleep again. I’m at the max dosage of my daily migraine medication now, after an episode at work last Monday ended with me needing to get a shot in each butt cheek and needing to clock out for a half hour so I could lay down until the medication kicked in. My back up medications aren’t working either, and even after I brought that up to the doctor that was filling in for my regular one the day I went in, they told me to continue taking what I’m taking. Ummmmm, WHAT PART OF ‘IT ISN’T WORKING ANYMORE’ DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? I have literally been laying down all day and I feel like garbage. I took a strong Ibuprofen that I got from my friend and it’s only kind of helped. I feel less like vomiting now and I can actually use my eyes. I still get super dizzy when I get up and I’ve run to the bathroom a few times now. My whole body just feels sour. People keep saying that it’s just stress but I think people are just crazy because I’ve had migraines since I was eight, and what does an 8 year old have to be stressed about??????
ok, enough of my health issues because I could go on and on. I haven’t even mentioned the most exciting thing yet… RODNEY AND I HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN OUR OWN PLACE!!!! We moved in on July 25th and it has been the best thing ever. It’s a little one bedroom but that’s all we need. Our goal was to have a place by spring so that we could have the whole summer to adjust before winter came again, by I got into a bad car accident on May 8th that totalled my beloved Malibu. Poor Ruby, the pizza guy coming in the opposite direction swerved to avoid hitting the person in front of them (who had slammed on their brakes because they almost passed their turn) hit us nearly head on and we ended up in a ditch. Heidi was with me and thank god she was ok. I didn’t know this until then, but one of my worst fears is being responsible for someones life and safety and having something horrible happen. Luckily we were able to get out of the car. The airbags went off and the front tire was pretty much completely ripped off. It was almost dark and raining when it happened, and the damage side of the car was against the side of the ditch so I didn’t see it until the next morning when we went to see her at the junk yard.
We had approached it from the other side, so when I saw the damage I instantly started sobbing and shaking. Rodney had to turn me around and he just pulled me into his chest because all I could say was ‘I was sitting right there’… It was traumatizing and life changing. I never want to go through anything like that again. It’s really hard to deal with the fact that I worked my ass off all summer with TWO JOBS and NO CAR to be able to save up for a decent car, and then some pizza delivery kid can just come along and RIP that away from me. But when I think about how differently that it could have gone, even a split second differently, I can’t be too mad. I could have died, and the car was just a car. I can’t save up for another life.
Now I’m driving a 1988 Crown Victoria that I bought off my step dad for $100 and it was going fine until recently…(By recently, I mean the literal day that we signed our lease)…It started having problems like not wanting to start, or accelerate. Rodney has spent damn near every weekend working on it to make it run better and it keeps crapping out. I need a new car before winter very badly, because I’m not spending another winter having panic attacks because I don’t know if my car is going to make me die or not while i’m driving.
School starts at the end of September, I’m going to Baker for Diagnostic Ultrasound. I dropped my English class at OCC shortly after my last post because it didn’t make sense to wait on a three year waiting list. So I decided to cut my losses with that.
Full time school and full time work won’t be so bad now that I’m in a healthy living environment.